Tuesday 13 April 2010

One Hundred Days - no. 85


POLITICAL ANIMALS GUIDEBOOK 2010 - NO. 0037
SPECIES: Toryboyus unpopularis
DESCRIPTION: A fine, upstanding creature, this bird is bred from excellent stock and carries great credentials yet it cannot understand why no-one likes it.
CHARACTERISTICS: A distinctive call that sounds like a piteous 'trust me! trust me!' repeated often and with increasing desperation.

4 comments:

  1. Newspapers should pay you money for this.

    Most election coverage has been so dire. Even newsnight. And don't even get me started on BBC breakfast who had their presenter in Leeds market eating spam (yes spam). Maybe after you've covered the politicians you should do the hacks!

    I think they must think we are all retarded and have no sense of humour (channel 4 and BBC scotland occasionally excepted).

    Oh and BBC's coverage of the boat race was worse than ITV-they couldn't even get the stroke rates of the boats up for the first 5 mins-Mark I hope you can slap some sense into them all!

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  2. ha, I wish! All I get paid to do is godawful cheesy shit for people who never seem to know what they want. Happily I am out of work at the moment and have the time to do what I want for a while.

    I know what you mean about the election coverage. It is either deathly boring or patronising. The Leeds thing was funny - people there don't eat more spam than other people, surely? However, I do remember being treated a few times to Mark's special 'Spam bolognese' when we first started going out (in fact, even BEFORE that - so why did I start going out with him?!).

    I've told him about the Boat Race - noted!

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  3. Aaargh! I saw that too. It was excruciating! Breakfast news is poo at the best of times, but it's a whole lot worse now!

    I do like Tory Bird's combover and Norman Lamont eyebrows.. :D

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